Moving and the Will of God

The Questions We Asked Before Moving to Kentucky

People move all the time. Usually it’s for a job, and when that’s the case, others don’t generally question your reasoning. But over the past several years, we’ve watched what some have called “a great relocation” take place in this nation and in many cases, it’s not because of a job transfer or promotion. “Get out of the city” has been a common cry on social media. But as I’ve talked to several friends who have made this exact move, they all have said they were criticized or challenged by someone for their choice.

I know there’s uncertainty about such a major decision, and having loved ones question your choice isn’t helpful at all. Major Christian publications like The Gospel Coalition want us to believe that it’s far more pious to remain “in the city” or in blue states for the sake of evangelizing the lost. They’ll refer to relocation as “escapism” and accuse Christians of disobeying “God’s call to scatter to the ends of the earth in order to love the lost and lose our lives” if they decide to move to “conservative areas.”

I disagree with that opinion, strongly.

Of course it’s perfectly fine to remain in a blue state or a major crime-riddled city, if that’s where you want to be. But, in general, the choice to do so is not a matter of sin nor is it sin for the one who makes a different choice.

Moving is a freedom of conscience matter. And I hope that as I walk through our reasoning in the decision to move our family 1800 miles east, it will help anyone else who is considering the same.

When my husband and I were working through the decision to move our family out of Las Vegas and into the country, there were several questions we needed to answer. We had always desired to be somewhere else, but for the time being, Vegas is where we were planted. We agreed a long time ago that we could remain content if this is where we remained.

But what if the opportunity arose to actually leave?

Is It Sin?

The first question we considered was: Would it be a sin to go?

Lots of heated discussion has surrounded this question in recent years. Even in our own church, the question has been asked. I can think of two particular discussions that helped us to answer this question:

The first was during a Sunday School study through the book of Acts, and the question went something like: is it biblical or allowable to flee? The conclusion was that in Acts, we see both staying and going, sometimes even in the same chapter (for example, Acts 9:25 and 9:28, where Paul decides to leave Damascus, but stays in Jerusalem).

The second was also during Sunday School as we were reading through and discussing Kevin DeYoung’s very helpful book Just Do Something: A Liberating Approach to Finding God’s Will (aside: give this as a gift to every high school graduate you know). The entire book provided biblical wisdom for our situation and I can’t recommend it more highly.

One of the chapters in particular could be summed up by the very simple, famous Augustine quote:

“Love God and do whatever you please.”

In John 14:15 Jesus said, “If you love me, you will keep my commandments.”

There is much freedom in this concept; more freedom than I think many Christians recognize that we have in Christ. As long as we are within the moral will of God, meaning we are faithful and obedient to follow His expressed commands in scripture, we are free to make choices about our lives. This includes decisions about where to work, where to live, what to wear each morning, and the choices go on.

Augustine’s point is that so long as we are obeying the commands of scripture, we are free to make those choices as we wish.

Did God Call us to Kentucky?

We have been very careful through this process to not claim that we believe God to be calling us to move to Kentucky. This was a decision we made because we wanted to move to Kentucky. I know we don’t often hear Christians say it so bluntly. And I understand the desire to want to say that the decisions we make are because it’s God’s will for us, but I don’t think our justifications must be that holy or pious. And I fear with a claim like that, we boarder on putting things in God’s mouth that He did not say.

Here’s another quote from DeYoung:

He calls us to run hard after Him, His commands, and His glory. The decision to be in God's will is not the choice between Memphis or Fargo or engineering or art; it's the daily decision we face to seek God's kingdom or ours, submit to His lordship or not, live according to His rules or our own.

We did not ask the question, “Is moving to Kentucky God’s will for us?” It is not our job to divine His will, to interpret open doors, or “lay out a fleece” even though I know there is an emphasis within Evangelical Christianity to “discover God’s will for me.”

Scripture is actually very clear on the question of God’s will for our lives:

For this is the will of God, your sanctification 1 Thessalonians 4:3

Therefore, the better question to ask was: Can God sanctify us in Kentucky?

We had a pastor during the early years of our marriage who would describe all of this by saying that God has a roadmap for our lives rather than a blue print. Instead of trying to figure out where He wants you to be, and what job He wants you to have, and where to go to school, or who to marry, we ought to be focused on how we do those things.

Go to whichever school you’d like, but live the life of a Christian there. Marry whomever you’d like (obviously a member of the opposite sex and a fellow Christian), but treat your husband or wife as scripture prescribes. Live where you want to, but act like a Christian toward your neighbors.

There isn’t some secret plan for your life that you must discover or else you’ll throw everything off course. We don’t believe in crystal balls or tarot cards or any other means that operate under the assumption that there is a particular determination for you to discover, and yet many Christians act functionally as if that’s the case. You aren’t going to mess up God’ plans for you by making a decision, even a really big decision. Use wisdom. Use the mind that God gave you. And obey His commands in scripture as you go.

Does God have a secret will of direction that He expects us to figure out before we do anything? And the answer is no. Yes, God has a specific plan for our lives. And yes, we can be assured that He works things for our good in Christ Jesus. And yes, looking back we will often be able to trace God’s hand in bringing us to where we are. But while we are free to ask God for wisdom, He does not burden us with the task of divining His will of direction for our lives ahead of time. -Kevin DeYoung

The question we asked was not “is God calling us to Kentucky?” but rather, “how will we live once we arrive?” “Can we live out the Christian life in this place?” Which leads me to the number one question on our list:

Is There a Church?

I know it’s common to move only for a job transfer or career opportunity. My entire childhood was the story of a family regularly upended to go where the job was. And I don’t say that with any animus toward my father. I understand that he was looking out for us, trying his best to provide the life he thought we ought to have, and that meant taking positions all over the country.

I don’t think my experience is all that unusual.

What tends to happen in situations where a job or career is the number one consideration in a move, is that there is an assumption that there will be a church on the other side. “If God provided a job, certainly He’ll also provide a church.” But unfortunately that isn’t a guarantee. And while I think a job is a very important thing to consider (scripture says the man who doesn’t provide for his family is worse than an unbeliever), it shouldn’t be superior in priority to a church.

When we told people we were moving, some asked if my husband found a job and others asked if we had a church where we were going.

Of course I’m not implying these two are mutually exclusive. Obviously a family needs to have both. But scripture is clear that we are required to be part of a local body, and so making sure there is a local body to join should be high on the list, even a primary consideration. That’s why when we made our scouting trip out to Kentucky, our number one priority was finding a church, or at least multiple that we knew would be good candidates once we got settled in.

Aren’t God’s Provisions Proof that this is His Will?

Let’s return to the, “is this God’s will for my life?” question.

Many would look to the blessings along the way (and there are so many which I plan to share eventually) as we’ve gone through the process of moving and point to these as evidence that this is God calling us to a new place. I simply believe it’s all evidence that God cares for his children and provides for their needs; sometimes abundantly, and sometimes only exactly what they require.

DeYoung writes:

Seek first the kingdom of God, and then trust that He will take care of our needs, even before we know what they are and where we're going.

God caring for our needs is simply Him fulfilling His promise to do so, not a sign that we’re “on the right track.”

I don’t think we need “signs from God” (nor do I think that His provisions are signs) in order to make life-altering decisions. We do need wisdom and ought to use it. And as long as you love God (which means doing what He commands), you are free to do whatever you want, and you can trust that you are well within the boundaries of his sovereign will.

If God opens the door for you to do something you know is good or necessary, be thankful for the opportunity. But other than that, don’t assume that the relative ease or difficulty of a new situation is God’s way of telling you to do one thing or the other. Remember, God’s will for your life is sanctification, and God tends to use discomfort and trials more than comfort and ease to make us holy. -Kevin DeYoung

The bible is filled with examples of God’s people going through trials even as they do His expressed will. Something not turning out well isn’t evidence that we are “off course” just like everything going great doesn’t mean we’ve got His plan figured out for us.

So no, we don’t think God is “calling us” to Kentucky. But we do think that it is what is best for our family right now. We, my husband in particular, have an obligation to do for our children what we believe to be right and good. For us, that includes a move to a very different place. And in the end, our decision is in God’s sovereign will. We recognize this and trust Him as we go. The ease or difficulty of the situation doesn’t change that.

Is This the Right Thing to Do?

Some won’t understand our decision or will outright disagree with it. I understand that. Some will view it as cowardice to leave a place where we could remain and be a witness to a sin-filled culture. I think those people need to read less TGC.

As Doug Wilson has said, there must be reasons for moving, but our reasons don’t need to be approved by others in order to be legitimate. It’s hard to leave people you care for and a place where you’ve established a home, but that doesn’t negate your reasons for leaving. It should be understood that we did not move for small, insignificant reasons, as Wilson writes,

Wherever you are, there will be sadness when you depart. You will have friends and connections, and you know you will miss them. But honestly, this is a feature of the world God made for us to live in. The life of the apostle Paul was filled with hard good-byes. You don’t desert the place where you are planted for trivial reasons, but it is reasonable to do so for reasons.

And like many others before us, and others after us, we have our reasons.

This essay is not a justification of our decision. I honestly do not care what others think about the choices we make for our family. After all, there’s a lot that we do that other people vehemently disagree with. Instead what I’m hoping is that in having our decision making process and thinking mapped out and clarified, it will help others who have thought of taking the same leap.

There is a great shifting, a great relocation taking place in this nation currently. Many have been guilted for wanting to get their children out of a big city and to a place where they can provide a better and more peaceful life. I think it’s wrong to make someone feel bad for making that sort of decision. And so, if you are feeling pressure to stay even though you want to go, I hope this has been helpful.

I’ll share one last quote from DeYoung as encouragement:

So the end of the matter is this: Live for God. Obey the Scriptures. Think of others before yourself. Be holy. Love Jesus. And as you do these things, do whatever else you like, with whomever you like, wherever you like, and you'll be walking in the will of God.

Eventually I’ll share more details about what finally led us to pull the trigger on a desire we’ve had for many years. But for now, I’ll be enjoying the delight in my children’s eyes as they see birds for the first time that they’ve only seen in books and breathing in the fresh country air under stars I’ve only ever seen a handful of times in my entire life.